Wednesday, January 16, 2013

A Letter to My First Born


A thought occured to me today. And I wanted to share with you so you would understand if you could in some way.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was afraid that my parents would be angry with me. That they wouldn't support me or my marriage to James. I thought the world would treat me like I was just a child having a child. When I took that pregnancy test after I got sent home from work with flu like symptoms, I thought I would know the results but part of me didn't think it could really happen. When I found out, I was happy. I think that's normal, you are given this gift from God and I think that is part of the joy surrounds you.

So don't let the joy be diminished by the fear of what anyone will say. You have never cared what people think, don't start now. You are doing very well with being responsible and trying to start your adult life in a positive way. Keep it up Krissy. Be happy. You will always have someone in life that won't agree with your opinion, you will always have someone that will think you should do better or make better choices, all that matters really, is that you love God with all your heart and you pass that legacy on to your child. God has entrusted you with this life, to be your baby's teacher and teach that baby how to find him. How to have eternal life with it's mama. How to love others. It is a great responsibility and honor to enter this arena and God has told you that you will never walk it alone.

I also want to share with you about how you "think" I feel. I have always hoped to make my parents proud of me. I have always felt that I have disappointed them and continue to do so with the mistakes that I may be making. And I am continually amazed at how opposite of the truth this is indeed. My mother and father continue to be proud of me and the way I keep trying to live my life. So to you I wanted to share, that no matter what you do. I have always been and will always be proud to call you my daughter. When you were born, I was proud of you. I held you and I was so scared that I would break you. But I didn't. You made my life sooooo much better Krissy Morgan. You gave me something to live for...... you gave me a way to finding my relationship with God. My life is so much better with you and having you. I was proud at your 6th grade graduation, I was proud at all of your school concerts, I was proud of you getting your permit and license and I will be proud of you when you have your baby.

If all you do in life is be a mom, no matter what job you have, no matter what man you marry, no matter how rich or poor you are. No matter what I will LOVE you and I will always be proud to call you my first born daughter.

Now hold your head up. I have a ton of people offering help. We will all help you through this time. Let's try to have some fun now!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Begin Again

Took a deep breath in the mirror, he didn't like it when I wore high heel,s but I do. Turn the lock and put my headphones on he always said he didn't get this song but I do, I do. Walkedi n expecting you'd be late but you got here early and stand and wave. I walk to you, you pull my chair out and help me in and you don't know how nice that is but I do. And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid, I think it's strange that you think I"m funny cause he never did. I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end but on a wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again. You said you never met one girl who had as many james toaylor records as you but I do. We tell stories and you don't know why I"m coming off a little shy but I do. And we walked down the block, to my car and I almost brought him up but you start to talk about the movies that your family watches every single christmas and I want to talk about that and for the first time what's past is past.

This Day and Age

Maybe it's just me or my age...... I am tired of people judging. Maybe I am too liberal, is that the word? I'm a christian, I believe in Jesus. Lately I am faced with people all around being so judgmental. Now do I judge, heck ya I guess I do. Don't we all. Yes... however I also realize there are two sides to every photo. I try not to go around and gossip and yes I have my days where all I want to do is call up my bestie to tattle on someone. So maybe I'm no better?

Sitting here and listening to others talk about this person and that person..... I just sat back and looked at each of them and thought to myself, what about the road you chose? I seem to recall you did something very similiar. And maybe it was the company I was keeping but I felt compelled to speak up.... hey what are you talking about? This person your speaking of is supportive of you! They just told me how they care about you! It just drove me crazy!

Didn't Jesus tell us to love others? Isn't that the most important commandment? Is it up to me to look at all the things my friend is doing wrong and do nothing but condemn. Can't we just work on our plank in our eyes and let God take care of the judging. Is it my job to love my neighbor or judge him? Would judging him bring him closer to God? Wouldn't a relationship where we can talk openly and honestly be more helpful? Especially this time of the year..... if we can't cast the first stone due to our own sins, then we should be ashamed to point a finger at anyone else and say anything!

I don't know I just had to say something. Get off your high ground and look in the mirror.