Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Next Day

Well I survived the dentist. I went there and felt a little nervous but didn’t think it was that bad. I told the dentist I was nervous, hoping he’d go easy on me. That helped cause he was very wonderful trying to talk to me about other things so I wouldn’t be as nervous as I was. Then he explained each step of what he was doing and reassured me as much as possible. When they pulled out the needle for novacaine, I thought it was a joke! From what I remember there was a huge needle, and they seemed to be in your mouth forever. He pulled out a little needle like a syringe! And I didn’t barely feel anything. What I did feel was bearable. I was very surprised. And happy. My whole body was shaking though. So I felt bad cause I really didn’t feel that nervous??? Is it possible as we get older we get less brave? So the end result, it was a lot better than I imagined. The dentist is a wonderful one and I will keep him for future visits. Glad that with each year they develop new and better ways to work on your teeth, makes it so much nicer for those of us that are chicken.

Now I can eat on both sides of my mouth with no more sensitivity! Wish I hadn’t waited so long. ;0)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fear of the Dentist

I have a dental appointment this afternoon. 3:40 pm. I hadn’t been to the dentist in a few years, I hate going. And I have a new dental office that I’m not used to going and I’m not wanting to go. Can you tell I hate the dentist. And really no good reason exists for me not wanting to go. I never had cavities growing up but once maybe….. we didn’t have to worry our generation got to have laughing gas and novacaine, unlike my mom’s generation. So why fear the dentist you say. With my anxiety I have a lot of unrational fears so really it’s not a surprise.

After a few years I had three cavities. That’s not too bad you say. It only took me three months to schedule my fillings and I didn’t update my phone number so they couldn’t catch me. ;0) One day though they called my work number, darn it! So I scheduled my kids for cleanings cause yes, bad mom, I hadn’t had them in for a year. So they went in for cleanings. At that point I sucked it up and schedule my appointment for my fillings. And of course they got me right in. So today is the day.

I’ve been pretty positive about it. I haven’t been stewing on it, so I figured this was a good time. But my body must be nervous subconsciously. I’ve not felt that good all day. I’m not eating and for me I always eat so that’s something there. Trying not to think about 3:40 as it’s only 10:00 right now. Got my toothbrush and I’m all prepared. I even look forward to being able to eat on both sides of my mouth soon as I’ve been avoiding the one side for the sensitivity. ;0) The things I put myself through.

They tell me an hour and a half in the chair. I could make two appt’s if I wanted but hell no, I need to get this done today. I’m on the end of a chest cold and feel pretty good but I still get that tickle cough. You know the one, your like I don’t need to cough. And then two seconds later your trying to cough out that frog! Please God don’t let me need to cough in the chair. Or even think about it, cause thinking about it will turn it into a cough fit. My brain is so powerful. Tyring to get my brain tricked into thinking that I am strong and powerful and courageous. Ha ha ha, why can’t that work that way.

Wish me luck. Pray for me.

My kids have two, four and six cavities. I am even a nervous mess for them. Krissy got hers done the other day and she is brave! She told me it was no big deal. My brave little Krissy. I feel like such a bad mom, letting the kids brush their own teeth. Not worrying about cavities. I think I took for granted that my husband and I both had little to no cavities our whole lives (aside from my recent) and Krissy hadn’t had any cavities either. So I figured they had good genes. Now my little babies ages six and seven have to endure the drill. Since that appointment, I have been brushing their teeth at night, well not the 16 year old. And I’ve been having them rinse with ACT spongebob mouth wash. And I’ve been trying to floss for them. Ugh, flossing someone else is impossible! I tried the sticks with the floss and the old fashion floss alone. Pain in the ass, I may resort to having them lay down and go behind them like the hygienist does to see if I can get in there any better. I’ll let you know.

My husband however, doesn’t brush ever. He says the fluoride is not good for us. He doesn’t floss or rinse. If I’m lucky he will use some baking soda on his teeth, which isn’t good for the enamel. He has no cavities and no other problems. Lucky man. For now. Unlucky me for when he’s wanting to give me a smooch. Sorry for grossing you out.

At least it got my mind off of the dentist for a while!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Weekend Fun

My weekend blew right by. I miss it already.

We went roller skating and had a blast! The boys were just as predicted. Gabe was a little spit fire on wheels. He fell down so many times, he’s that kid you try to avoid and your going cause he’s all over the place and making others fall down and trip as he’s falling down. By the end of the night he was such a pro. He really took and tackled it. They played video’s of the songs on the wall and when it came to the Justin Bieber song for the movie Karate Kid, Gabe stopped and watched. Now the rules of the rink are to keep moving. So it was so funny when I saw him standing and looking up at the video. Ahh my precious child.

Gideon was very cautious and calculated, I don’t think he fell once. He was doing very well and even tried to pick up speed, but when his eyes caught sight of the game section. He was a goner, we spent too much in those games. He even figured out on his own how to go and get prizes from the other area once he got tickets. I asked him how he figured that all out and he told me he just asked some other kid. Oh they are growing up!

Krissy came along with one of her friends. I think they were hoping to catch some boy action. I paid for them to skate and they never got out there! When I asked her to get her butt out there or get grounded, she skated like a wimpy little kid halfway around, complaining the whole time and then acted like she was safe on ground when she finally made it all the way around. The drama was too much for me. Never again will I let that kid skate, she is getting money for the snack bar or games only.

Overall it was a blast. I skated my heart out and no, Secret Lover didn’t play. I contemplated asking for it by request but then it was a family night and I don’t know if that would have been a good one. I got one blister and really thought I’d be sore the next day, but no! What a surprise. Had my pop and onion rings instead of the pizza. But made a frozen pizza when I got home. There goes my dieting for that week.

Saturday we were going to go shopping for groceries but the stores were a mad house. I hate weekend grocery shopping. So we were all hungry cause we normally get a slice of pizza and pop from Sam’s club and we didn’t even go in for all the busyiness. So we saw Smash Burger. We decided to give it a try. This place had the most wonderful burgers. Very delicious and sweet potato fries too! It was a fun little outing with the kids and they liked their hot dog’s, I had one bite of that and that too was so good. I don’t normally get into hot dogs. And then we window shopped the newest Target store in Woodbury. Dj was watching the cart with my purse and I went to browse camera’s. Goofing around, I told him to come and I’d take his pic. Well he left my purse and cart not but a few feet away. For only a few seconds. When he went back, the cart was gone. Before I knew it, I heard a bunch of Target people snapping into action. I heard on the walkie talkie’s something about a cart and it had a Caribou coffee in it and I knew it was mine! I went over and found out and I can’t tell you my heart sank! My whole life is in my purse. So I went like a mad woman looking for it. And yes, I found it! In the girls department, from the electronic department. Now I ask you, if you accidently took a cart and realized it wasn’t yours, wouldn’t you bring it back to the area you took it? Or at least the front of the store and ask a manager for help? Oh well, my cart and my life were all in place and nothing was missing. Praise the Lord.

Sunday was boring and laundry. The kids played with a neighbor friend. Got invited to a sleep over with this neighbor Friday night! How sweet. And now work has begun again for my week.

Tomorrow I get my three cavities filled. Ugh….. I am not looking forward to this one but hey at least my teeth will feel a lot better. Finally.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Roller Skating!!!

We’re going roller skating tonight! I can’t wait. My kids school is having a fundraiser and we get to go for $5 per person including skate rental. So I asked the hubby if he wanted to go and meet me up there after work and he said yes! So off we will go! I may have to get a slice of pizza with a pop! And I’m thinking that I may put on some skates with the kids! I don’t see my hubby doing that, he’s more of a stay on the sidelines and watch my pop for me kind of a guy! So hopefully the boys will be that much more steady on their feet and I can actually skate!

Selfish I know. But it brings me back to my Jr. High days. Somluck, my best friend, and I would go all the time. We’d go to the Roller Garden’s in St. Louis Park. And usually her dad would drive us and pick us up and always pay for us. As a parent now, I can really appreciate it that he would do this for us. It was always fun, even though I was low on the self esteem, get me in some skates and I just felt so cool going around and around on the floor. I’d even skate backwards a little. Of course we were in for the boys too! She was always lucky and I was always the unlucky one of course. Never stopped us from getting out there for the next couples skate time, hoping we’d get picked. If only I had more guts to just ask a boy instead of waiting for them. And I can still remember the song they overplayed every weekend, Secret Lovers. Secret Lovers, that’s what we are, trying hard to hide the way we feel.

My boys are too little I think to worry about all that, they just wanna get out there and skate fast. Gabe is hell on wheels, in a good way. He’s that kid that doesn’t really know how to skate and isn’t afraid to fall, he’s just gonna get out there and skate fast and if he knocks ya down it’s nothing personal. Gideon will be the one that will skate little by little, inch by inch and not want to fall. Krissy even agreed to come with her friend Jasmine. They will most likely sit in the snack bar scoping for boys. I hope they won’t be too disappointed that this night is mostly for the elementary kids. Ha ha ha.

I can’t wait to go, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Friday, March 18, 2011

What Up Friday

It's finally friday! I'm so glad too, I have no work until next thursday! One of my jobs, at the school, is on spring break! My kids will be in school as this week was their spring break! So for me, it's party time! I'm going to rent three movies that I have wanted to see and I cannot remember the names, one each day.

Tomorrow I will kick off my break with a trip to the dentist. Oh how the kids look forward to that. It's fun to have three different reactions. Krissy is middle of the road, she neither cares nor worries about it. Gideon loves the dentist, I think he's hamming it up cause he knows no one else likes it. And Gabe well, he tries to act like he likes it cause of Gideon but he is scared. So I will be holding little Gabe's hand while he sits in the chair. Please God no cavities.

Sunday, I am off to Eau Claire! I am going with my mom and sister to visit my younger sister Rach! We'll have lunch at Olive Garden. Yumm! I'm looking forward to just the girls and no kids or husbands.

Monday will be a date day with my hubby. The kids will be in school and we'll go for coffee and a walk by the river I think. Just something to be with him and no kids. He has a very stressful week ahead with two court dates on tuesday and wednesday. So hopefully this will be a good time.

I have finally broken the 200 pound mark! On weight loss that is...... being tall I am fortunate that 208 pounds never really looked as obese as it technically is. I lost 6 pounds doing pilates and then after I quit my membership, I gained two pounds back. Then when I went through all my current life stress I have now lost 5 pounds. And that puts me under 200! So while my life is still stressful, food is starting to have an appeal again. So I am really trying to keep it to three meals that aren't junky and no sweets except for once or twice a week. I'm very motivated right now. I just want so badly to be healthy and look healthy.

So right now I am stoked! I need to get off this computer and get going to my start of my time off! It's still sunny out and I'm happy for that. It's been a great week and I'm sleeping more.

It's amazing what a few more hours of sleep will do for your attitude.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

End of the World

With the news of Japan and all the different things that are going wrong with so many people these days, I question myself all the time. Are we in the end times? According to many websites and experts and even a looney bird or two we are in the end times. Lately the thought hasn't brought much comfort to my mind. Yes I would love for this to be it and the Lord come back soon! We can have him with us in a brand new world. But is the rapture before the shit hits the fan or during or after? And really should it matter, no, we hold tight to what we believe and we will be alright.

I am a chicken. I do not want to go through hard times. What do the persecuted christians that suffer daily go through? How they must long for the Lord to return. Here I am in my comfy home and I never have to suffer the torture they suffer all the time. Our country is free to praise whatever God they want without being hurt for it. We are so lucky. So lucky!

I struggle with what to teach the kids. Do I keep them sheltered. Should I be teaching them about the end times and the mark of the beast and not taking it? At what age should I? Krissy is 16 and well at the age of knowing right from wrong, according to her, she has accepted Jesus as her savior. So how much should I be telling her the things to watch out for? My parents didn't tell me anything and I did a lot of research on my own. Should I do that? But then am I failing my kids for a teachable moment. I don't want to scare the crap out of them. But in an age where the first family that has accepted a chip implant to track their every move is here, I feel a burden to teach them something. If I am gone for any reason, who will tell them?

With Japan on the news and my hubby and I talking about that country off and on, how much should I tell them on that? Currently I have said nothing to them. But should I be? In school they will most likely get some kind of a talk, I read something about how to talk to your kids about these kind of disasters. It was all good, and they gave what to say at different age groups. But I never thought to talk to them about it at all.

Well that was my thought for today. Maybe I am overthinking it. Maybe I am doing enough. I read them the bible and pray with them. God can handle the rest? I don't know...... I'm really not worrying over it, I just see so much going on in the world and I really think the time is near.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sun Shining

It’s sunny out today and the temp is supposed to close to 50 degrees. I’ll get to see when I go to lunch if it really is nice out. I cannot wait for spring! We had a bonfire last night and it was fun. With the snow on the ground though it wasn’t as much fun as it is when there isn’t any snow.

Everyday I come home from work the kids have been playing with their neighbor friend Jesse. Trying to get them to come home to eat or say hi to me, it’s difficult. So it’s been nice that I’ve been able to relax and watch t.v. each day. Trying not to eat! I’ve started a good track of eating since the stress started and I would like to keep some of my old habits gone. So watching t.v. without the kids and the fun, fun mentality without grabbing some chips or a sweet. Not as hard cause lately food doesn’t have as much appeal but at the same time, trying to have one poptart for a treat and not eating the two in the pack, hard. ;0) I miss my kids though. Silly huh. I think I miss them more for the changes that may have to take place in a few months. The idea of them staying with Dad for a few nights instead of me…… what! Krissy would never have opted to do that, but boys now they are different. I guess they prefer Dad at times. Who knew…..

If I could get on some kind of exercise kick that would be best. I could use something to get my mood uplifted and I really recognize that it should be some kind of exercise. Even if it’s just to get out and take a walk. I sit all day at work and then to go home and lay down all night, not good. It’s a miracle any more weight has come off. I do miss going to the pilates studio. Maybe with some of tax refund, I should get some classes out of the deal.

But I love the sun, it can instantly bring my mood up, I think I’ll go outside soon for lunch and enjoy.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Christmas in March

It’s amazing what a full cupboard will do for your spirit!

Got some good news yesterday, we were approved for medical and food support! Yahoo! These nagging medical bills can finally be taken care of and God has rained down more blessings upon us. I am so beyond grateful, I cannot tell you. When you only have one income and it’s really not the best paid income for a family of 5, little things like groceries become such a burden. Hmm we really could use more milk and bread but I also NEED gas in my car so I can go to work. Or buying the bread and milk and wondering if your spending your rent…… these are worries no one should have to be worried about. We live in such a weathly country with food and money. Things could always be worse, I tell myself all the time.

We got the news in the mail and I checked online for the amounts. Wow we have never spent that much even when we had money I don’t think in a month! Well maybe at one point we came close. To say the county has been generous is an understatement. I felt like it was Christmas and we all went shopping together as a family. Fun! Kids got to pick out the cereals they liked, we got stuff we don’t get anymore like go-gurt and pea pods and sweet potato chips! I don’t know if the kids noticed it like I did and of course I didn’t tell them. But it was fun. And I almost had a feeling of guilt. I’m not sure why??? Guilty for having so much more than we usually do or having to use the system? Trying to tell myself it’s okay and feel good that we don’t have to wait for the next pay day.

I can’t tell you to not have that worry about if we have enough, or what kind of dinner can we make with the things left in the cupboard….. it’s so huge! To be able to run to the store and pick up more lunch meat or butter without any thought about it, so nice! And to be able to bring the kids to the doctor if they don’t feel good and not wait a few days. Wait to see if anything more develops or wait to see if the temp comes down. Oh it’s so wonderful to just call the doctor and make the appointment without trying to budget $100 upfront costs.

Now I can concentrate on how to keep us in Bayport for another year! God is moving so much in my life right now, I am feeling so much better.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Spring Break 2011

Spring Break is here for my kids. It’s so hard to be the only person that has to be up and doing something today. I still get to work. Yipee, my kids can stay up later than me this week. I think they love that. I feel a little lonely being the one missing out on the fun they must be having. I try to remind myself that while I think this way, reality is it’s just like the weekends, what should we do? Where should we go? Having more than one child we try to keep the expenses low as well as we don’t have a ton to spend lately. So it can be challenging. The weather is going to be wonderful this week however so they can have some outdoor adventures.

My one friend doesn’t worry about what the kids will be doing. She goes about what she needs to do on a daily basis, cleaning around the house and making meals. She lets the kids play with each other or do their own thing for the most part. Sure she still plans some fun activity or going out once in a while. But it’s such a different perspective than mine. That’s how I grew up, my parents didn’t worry about entertaining me. They didn’t even plan any fun activities for me to go and do. I think one summer vacation I was able to take part in a school summer camp program for a week, that was fun. But that’s about it. No family get aways. I just had to play outside or find something to do with my sister. We turned out fine. So why am I so burdened with entertaining my kids.

Could I turn into my friend and let it go. Hmm, such a tempting thought. Especially with summer break on the horizon. What the heck will we do this summer. I love my kids, I do, I just don’t always know what to do with them.

One nice thing I can focus on now though, next week is my school’s spring break in which I work. So while my kids will have to go to school, I will be home all day without them. Now what should I do for my spring break? ;0)