Social Networks Suck

Maybe I'm getting closer to a mid life crisis or something? But social networks suck! I like my blog cause I can say anything and no one can say anything. I can delete comments and too bad if you don't like it, then don't read it

See what I mean? Mid life crisis?

Anyway I was just getting tired of it all. I am friends with so many people. Friends from school, from past jobs, from current jobs. So many people. And on the one hand it's so nice to see how many people I've come into contact with but really of all those people only a few really care. Well I shouldn't say it like that but cause if I died I bet each one would be affected. So I'm not warped in thinking that no one cares. What I mean is that in my day to day life and the comments I would make I don't think anyone really gives a what for about. And then I try not to make any negative comments that would offend my Jewish community of friends, I try not to make any comments about my views on traditional marriage cause most of my friends are voting no, I can't even make one harmless non detailed comment about a hard day at work without a comment there and fear that my employer would reprimand me. So you know what I did!

I closed my account. Fuck em! I really felt better. Liberated if you will. And I don't regret it one bit. No more high school drama about what I do say or don't say.

I am just gonna blog more, even though getting time to do so is hard. And I will only let family be my circle in my networks now. I don't care if they agree with my perspective they respect me either way!

Just unplug, life is more fun!

Dinner Party

Today I hosted my first dinner party!

My bestie Mara and her boyfriend Jay came over on this beautiful day! Mara had mentioned when we went to Hell's Kitchen that she had never tried mushroom burgers. So Dj told her that he would make her some! Jay and I agreed they were good!

So my lovely husband went shopping special and picked up the shrooms and stuff. He spent hours cooking while we all laughed and joked! And they were delicious! We ended up choosing mushroom caps with a marinara sauce and provolone cheese topped with bacon! It was so good! Mara and Jay both really enjoyed it! Not just the mushroom caps but he also made homemade garlic potatoes and homemade garlic bread. Most of the time people that try the toast fall in love with it and want more than one piece, which was the case!

It was really good and I am very thankful to my wonderful husband for making this day possible! I mixed up applitini's for my friends and my friends brought us a really super delicious chocolate ganache  with chocolate cake and mousse! Oh soo good and I am still stuffed!

Successful dinner party and a wonderful evening with those that matter the most to me!

Our new table

delicious cake

I'm So Done!

My current favorite song by Barlow Girl

"Time For You To Go"

I hope you don't mind
That I know your life
Because I read it every day
And all of your faults
Make me feel so good
Because the media stole my brain
It's so nice to have someone tell me what to think
What is it for, do we want more, do we want more?
And on and on it goes 'till all of us are sucked in.
So shut it off and see we're missing out on living

I am so done
Listening to you
Time for you to go
Time for you to go, whoa
I refuse to give one more day to you
Time for you to go, time for you to go, whoa
No more wasting my life on this worlds addiction
Time for me to take you to find your place I'm letting go
Time for you to go

Isn't it nice to know
That the media will sway our votes
'Cause seriously we've got to see
That they choose what we know
Our morals get thrown away
For the next big thing we've got to see
What is it for, do we want more, do we want more?
And on and on it goes till all of us are sucked in
So shut it off and see we're missing out on living

I am so done
Listening to you
Time for you to go, time for you to go
Whoa. I refuse to give one more day to you
Time for you to go, time for you to go, whoa
No more wasting my life on this worlds addiction
Time for me to take you to find your place
I am letting go, time for you to go

We're missing out on His voice
We've traded God for ashes
We've got to think for ourselves
Where's our passion?

I am so done
Listening to you
Time for you to go
Time for you to go, whoa
I refuse to give one more day to you,
Time for you to go, time for you to go, whoa
No more wasting my life on this worlds addiction
Time for me to take you to find your place
I am letting go, time for you to go

Hello There Stranger!

It has been so long since I've blogged! I wish I had internet at home so I could just pop on anytime I want. My life has taken a turn for the best and I pray it continues!

I have a new job. I am working for the BBB(Better Business Bureau) and I love it! Great job, great company, great pay and benefits and wonderful people. I cannot wait to get past the newbie status however and get on to water cooler talk. I probably miss that most. I've been here 5 full weeks! Yes that much time has passed! Crazy.

I got a new place to live. Finally a town-home. I have wanted to live in a town-home all of my adult life. It has never worked out. And now finally I have one! It's a lovely 3 bedroom in Stillwater.

My hubby is turning a corner in his life, I'll tell you a complete 180 from last year. I was just on the edge of losing my mind and now this year is such a good year. I am thankful! It really is a blessing to sit back and reflect on how God brought us through it. And if I would have just kept that in mind from the beginning without stressing so much, I think I have learned a lot.

I have also learned that with each passing year you will have bad times. Seems like I get over one mountain to start at the base of another one. What will this next mountain entail. God has said it won't be easy, amen to that! But He is and has been with me. This year seems to be health issues with my parents. While I feel like I know this is part of the aging process, I am not ready for it. I need more time. I remember when my parents knew everything, I'd ask my dad for everything. Hey pop is this lease a good idea on a car? Now I didn't always listen but hey when you no longer can ask your parents and they rely on you to help them make decisions about life and stuff. It's very hard.

But I remain firm in thinking positive and praising God in advance for his miracles each day. While I cannot stand the idea of anything happening to my parents, He will do what is best in the situation.

We've Turned A Corner

Babies are cute and everyone wants to hold them.

Toddlers are funny and everyone wants to talk with them.

Tweens are getting harder to understand and you enjoy their awkwardness.

Teens are crazy and you thought you were young and cool enough to get them but you realize you don't and it's a day by day battle.

Krissy my first baby was always good and fun to be around. She and I had some really good times when she was younger. In her tweens we were still good although I had some challenges. When she turned 13 I was pulling my hair out! What in the world is wrong with my daughter! The only way I could survive was taking it one day at a time! 

My Krissy baby is turning 17 on sunday. Easter sunday! And all of a sudden we have turned a sort of corner. She has finally emerged from the dark and dreary existence to a newer one. She is happier and bubblier. She and I have been laughing again, and not in a way where she is laughing at me but really with me!

I don't know if this is typical of entering upon the early adult years or not. Or if it's a girls versus boys thing. But I am trying to cherish every minute with her. It is so nice as she has a lot of really good things to say and going on in her mind and we can finally talk about things. In such a different way. I love it! 

Don't get me wrong she still has some teen attitude but things have definately gotten better! 

Wen enough is enough

Ha ha ha that's my husband's line for the title. I love it! 

So yes I purchased some Wen to try for thirty days. This is my unofficial review of that product.

I love the packaging, the bottle looks cool, the comb looks cool. They sent me a thirty day supply of the shampoo/conditioner you use for daily cleaning. A comb, a conditioner treatment and some hair gel. I love the smell, I choose the mint almond one. Smells so nice. 

My hair is long. It's frizzy. I have long been looking for something to help tame the frizz especially in humidity. So I thought heck, I know friends that really love this product for the frizz control. So I'm going to try it. 

The daily shampoo/conditioning thing that supposedly cleans your hair in one bottle. Smells good and lathers on your head nicely. Feels good. And then rinses out nicely. It seemed to take longer to dry, I like to let it air dry. And that could be cause regular shampoo dries your hair out. And then I used it only a few days, my hair didn't feel clean. It felt greasy, didn't look bad though. It definately didn't do what the model hair did in the commercial. And I couldn't get another day out of it as unfortunately I also suffer from dandruff and my dandruff was out of control! I had to get back to my head and shoulders.

So I guess Wen isn't for every hair type or at least not that I have found. I guess on to another product to try to control my frizz.

My Unofficial Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey-This Time Submission is What Your Thinking and You Would Be Right!

I heard about this book on my commute home from work. I listen to FM 107 which is a talk show channel and I was listening to Lori and Julia talk about this book. I don't recall what they said but they made it sound very interesting and I guess it's the latest rage all over book clubs across America!

So I decided to see what the big deal was about......
To put it short, I think ladies are just loving the romance and sex. ;0)
To put it a little longer, this book is a sort of love story. It wasn't quite the page turner I was expecting however the author did well at keeping my attention. The leading lady, Ana, was funny to me (especially her inner dialogue).

There is a lot of sex in this book! I almost felt dirty reading it. It touches base on BDSM. But it's not so heavy that you are disgusted, if that kind of thing disgusts you, but the suspense of what is going to happen in that dept next is very, how shall I say this, part of the page turning excitement.

In the end it's not your typical love story. There are two other books that follow this relationship. To be quite honest, I am not going to read the next two books. This one book would have been better to stick to one book, condense it a little better and leave it there.

I liked that it wasn't just a porno read but definately a story to it. I would say read it to my friends if your looking to spice up your marriage and want some love story in a different than your average relationship.

Mom's 60th Birthday

My mom celebrated her 60th birthday this last weekend. St. Patty's day we went to Houlihan's to have dinner! It was followed by delicious cake from Breadart in Bayport! All three of the girls, my sisters, pitched in and purchased her a Grandmother's ring. Which she had mentioned wanting in the past and was surprised when she opened her gift.

Priceless.

Here are some photo's

Rachel's beautiful family

My DadOwen

Group Shot! Tried to be clever....

My mom and dad

My mom and my sisters

Karla's Beautiful Family

Grandkids!

My lovey boys

Our family growing up!

Cake so good!

Group shot closer!

Submission Something Old is Something New

Dirty mind! I know what your thinking and no I'm not talking about my sex life! ;0)

I'm talking about being submissive to my husband. Seems like a dirty word anyway to me. I have thought about this recently. My husband has seemed so down in his mood. Depressed. And trying to help encourage him, he just doesn't believe me. Mostly because in the last few years of our marriage I have gone from trusting him to barely knowing what to trust about him. From looking up at him to looking down on him. We've gone through more than your typical married couple. And so far we are still together. I am realizing though we may not be together forever like we thought we would be if something doesn't happen. While I can point my finger all day long at who's to blame, I would be wise to just look in the mirror for a little while.

When I first married my husband I loved him so much and put him on the pedestal. He could do no wrong and he was like my knight in shining armor. He always knew the best way to approach things and it was so nice to have someone take care of me. Promising for better or worse, I never could have imagined what the worse was and that it would be so bad that I couldn't hold to that promise.

I won't bore you with all the decisions and flaws that led us to the worse part. Most marriages have up's and down's. But at the bottom I am realizing that hey he's a person too. If he treated me the way I treat him, no way would I have stayed. And didn't I make a promise til death do I part? He's not abusing me or doing anything that would put me in danger. I really do believe the Lord would like me to stay to that promise.

So I've been reading up on submission for the christian marriage. I've read three books on the subject. I used to be quite the critic. Lately though, I'm wondering if there isn't something to it. One book I read described it like this:
When you have a job each person in the company has a specific role. The company wouldn't function well without each part. There is a boss. A good boss will ask for your views, open door policy, will want to motivate you and praise you when your doing well, will want to help you reach your goals and potiential, and though he may take into consideration your viewpoints and use them he is ultimately the one that has to make the call for the company and what is best to have it succeed. You can apply those same theories to marriage. And if your a christian then your already being submissive to the Lord and what he would like for your life. So really thinking about that and trying to see if some of these applications don't help my marriage get better. Maybe I can build my husband back up and instead of being hurt by me he can feel like we're more a team. Then maybe he can take into consideration what I like and don't like and actually apply those more often.

I don't have to agree on everything he says and does. But like today, he was talking and talking about the post office. All I wanted to do was get him off the phone. But then I thought, this is what those books mean. He has an opinion. He wants to be heard. So I listened and waited for him to finish without interrupting him. While I had a different opinion on the subject, I decided to bring it up in a way that I was asking him if things wouldn't be better if we did it this way? In asking his opinion in a way that was stating what I was wanting to actually do, he ended up responding in a way that he thoughtfully considered what I was saying. No fighting.

So wish me luck as I try. It may back fire but I want to be one of those happy couples holding hands and people envious of our love. Get back to the beginning days where I can look up to him again. He doesn't have to live up to my expectations. He's a good guy. He has feelings too. Lord help me to try and look at my husband the way you see him.

A God Wink

Cute little story:

One night we were going to pick up some bread and milk from our local grocery store. At this store they sell cars and trucks for more than I would normally spend on a toy. $5.99 for a small car or truck. My son Gideon really likes these cars as they have doors that actually open, probably the only cool thing about this car. I tried to tell him that those cars could be found most likely at Walmart for way less. And I told him I didn't want to spend that much as I would have to buy one for him and one for Gabe. Plus play with it one day and toss it out the next which is what usually happens, so a waste anyway in my mom's brain.

But I personally can't tell my kids, "NO". So instead I say let me see what they look like and then I will let you know if it's something we can purchase less expensively at Walmart. In his mind I am sure he's thinking he'll get the car just at Walmart. I know, I know what your thinking. To each his own.

Anyway, so we go and pick up the bread and milk and while we are waiting for dad to get some water we stop to look at these cars. Standing in front of these cars is a little ole' lady. She is very nice and chit chatty and we are standing politely behind her waiting. She tells Gideon she thinks these cars are cool and she's trying to pick out a good one. She asks his opinion on which is good. So they get into a conversation about these cars. The nice lady turns to me and asks, "would it be alright if I bought your boys each a car"? I was like, oh no you don't have to do that, we were just coming to take a look at them. She then says, "oh please won't you let me do that, it will be my good act of the day."

So I hesitate and wonder, what to say. If they're too spendy for me, then they are for sure too spendy for her without any kids with her! As I am thinking my husband comes down the aisle. He asks me what's up? I then tell him and she turns to him to see if it's alright? He too looks at me and I shrug and then he looks at her. He says well that is very nice but you don't have to do that now. And she tells him how she would like to and it would be a blessing for her to buy them for the boys. You can imagine what little Gideon is thinking.........

So my husband says okay. And then she and the boys go to picking out the best ones and she goes to purchase them. We go behind her and start our check out process. She comes over and hands us the receipt and we tell her again how very sweet she is and that the boys are very excited about this gesture.

I turn to Gideon and Gabe and I tell them, that was so nice! They tell the lady thank you and she gives them each a hug and leaves the store. Then I tell Gideon that God must have heard him talking about these cars and decided to bless him.

It would be one thing if we were talking about his desire for the car in front of the lady but we didn't our conversation was at home. She had no idea and all she knew was there were too little boys waiting quietly to just look at the cars.

So how cool is that!? Gideon was really wow'ed thinking that the Lord did all this for him. And Gabe of course wasn't complaining to get a free toy! How nice. I told them both that sometimes God has angels do his work and she must be one of them.

In this day and age, this is really a very sweet thing to be a part of and I hope that one day I can be that little ole' lady doing the same thing for another person.

I ♥ Volleyball

I don't know what it is..... I just love it! Back in my high school days, I played. I only signed up initially cause my best friend at the time, Kethkeo, wanted to play. So we both went pre-freshman year to the clinics. First day, Kethkeo decided it was too much for her. She dropped it. I found it interesting. I kept going. I played freshman, J.V. and Varsity volleyball and club in the winter after season. I was benched my first game in my freshman year and after that game, I asked my coach how I could get off the bench. Response, work your butt off in practice and show me you want it. And I did.

From that point on, starting line up every game, every year. I played blocker, middle and outside hitter. I did great on digging. Back in high school I was anxiety ridden and had a great time during practice but games I'd just spazz. I was still good but spent too much time anticipating the game. After school, I never played again. With the exception of one year with my apartment league, I played a few games to help finish their season.

Lately I talked my new bestie into coming out for open gym on thursday nights to play volleyball. We were going to wait until we were in better shape, however knowing me that would never happen. So I figured this will be the way to get me in shape. Two hours straight of volleyball and sweating my butt off! Awesome exercise and I love it! Sign up at the door and teams are formed there as well. I think my body remembers as I was sore but not as sore as I expected. I've been doing it for about a month now. And we are having a blast. Sometimes we get men that are just big babies about having women on their side. There are maybe four of us women. And while we're all capable and do well, it seems like we can never do well enough for them. Kind of brings you back to the elementary days when boys just wanted to win and stepped in front of you to get the ball. So Stupid!

I figured out last night how to deal with them. ;0) It seems when you make a mistake and they want to tell you what to do next time, you look at them and smile and nod. And if you even sort of make an attempt to do what they say, you earn big time respect points. Crazy......

If you tell them to shove off or you start acting like them, they don't see it as showing them the way they act, they see you as a bixxx. Or unsportsman like.

So that's what I'm going to do from now on. And if that stops working, I'll just stand there in the middle of the court and act duh and mess up left and right and say oops sorry.

Time Flies

I can't believe that I haven't posted anything since January! Goodness time flies and then it seems like you can't catch up!

I have so many pictures taken, trying to remember I need to go back and make sure I blog about this or blog about that. And instead of doing anything, I do nothing. ha ha ha

Life has been good. Went to see my sister this past weekend. That was fun. The kids are doing really well with homeschool. Finally got our membership to a group where the kids can potientially make friends, so that is huge! Krissy shaved half her head, so she looks terrible, oh I guess I should say she looks hip for her age group. And my husband helped her! They both were so proud, and here I come home wondering where my sweet little baby girl went!

I am looking for a new job, yet again. Seems like I do that for a while and then give up. I just want just to work one full time job. With my meds I feel like I can do anything lately and I really want to get my job or career in check. Try for things I never had the confidence I could do! I am excited!

So that's about all that is new. Tomorrow I am going to play volleyball with my bestie. Should be fun, open gym in my area. They form teams at the door. I just hope I don't look like a fool and that I can last a game! I'm not in the best shape but I love playing volleyball. I thought what the heck, I'll never be where I want to be. So why wait?

Christmas at home

We had our family christmas on christmas eve. We woke up and opened presents. I think we did good this year and the kids were happy with all the cool things they got. The boys got poloroid touches and they are so very cool! They play music, you can post pics and videos. So they love those, Krissy got a bunch of Hello Kitty stuff and a Hot Topic gift card, her favorite store! Dj and I got a tea set. ha ha ha well mostly for me, I got one like I got for Gideon cause it was so cute! You can make a pot of tea and share it with others in these cups! I love it! Kid at heart!

I think for my birthday I will get a poloroid touch cause it's so cool!

We went to a candlelight service at a local lutheran church. That was nice. I like the candle part! The kids got to take part in the communion with us that night so that was special to me. It was funny, Gabe asked if dad was going to take a snack too. Ha ha ha the wafers and wine, a snack! Precious.

I was terrible this year at taking pics. Here is just a few that I captured. Oh the picture of the boys room is after I cleaned it. Took all day to get rid of old toys and pick things up. The pic looks like it's still a cluttered space but it's so wonderfully picked up! Hope it stays that way for a bit.

Christmas

Christmas with Vasquez side! This year my side of the family had christmas at my mom's house. We all love going to Gramma's house, Gideon never wants to leave. We had lasgna and garlic bread, I made the tequilaberry salad! Very delicious. We decided not to bake goodies this year and my mom bought some cute cookies from Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's had so many cute cookies, if I ever need to buy a present for someone that's the place to go!

Owen trying to get the goodies!

Krissy and mama

Dj and me, gosh he doesn't look very happy in this photo...... ha ha ha There's Gabe's head

Just a glimpse at the goodies

Krissy what are you doing?

Karla and Rob

Gideon got a flannel just like Grampa! He loves it!

Cory, he was smiling

Merry Christmas 2011!